12/5 Fotofly Away seriously flew away.

Thanks to Hailey I went to Fotofly tonight for family pictures with Santy Claus. It was going to be the a quick simple post about look how darling the kiddos are because I've gotta go to bed soon. I have to re-certify on my pediatric advance life support class. I honestly dread going to classes like this for weeks. They are nerve racking. Mostly because my mock patients never seem to make it. At least I'm working with a team on the scenario so I don't get the whole blame, but it's not like I ever leave feeling like I'm ready to go save a life. But this. makes me really happy.  (oh my heart, this might be one of my all time favorite memories in NBC history-- give it a 10 seconds and the fuzzy goes away)

Anyhow... I'm off to minister to the manikins in the morning and I'm hoping that my night consumed with dressing up children, dragging them across town, and doing jumping jacks trying to make them giggle for the "fotos" aren't for naught. Because right now our pictures are lost in Santa cyberspace and they told me they hope to have "recovered" my session by tomorrow. We shall see.  Nonetheless, George and Jane met the real Santa Claus and got a candy cane and they couldn't care less about the pictures to prove it. Just me.

12/4. Spreading Christmas Cheer.

Well. First let me tell you of a story I just told Amy a bit earlier tonight. Funny. At least I keep thinking so.

On Sunday I listened to someone at church talk about how they are doing 25 days of service for their countdown till Christmas. We talked about doing that but decided the kids were a little young. Hahahahaha. I know, I know, they are never too young to serve.  That's what you're thinking. But you are a better person than me if you can think of 25 things for a 4, 3 and 1 year old to do that has meaning that wouldn't throw me over the edge trying to put it together.

Fine. I'm sure there are 125 things we could do. But we're not doing them all in countdown form. Not this year.

But we did try one after I listened to the idea at church that I thought was clever. She said that they were grocery shopping as a family and when they were checking out they bought a pack of gum at the very end and gave it to the cashier and said "we bought this for you, Merry Christmas." She talked about how everyone felt so good during this simple act of kindness. It was sweet, and I had never heard of that. I've heard of a lot of "random acts of kindness" and I like the ones for strangers-- just because I think the shock value is a little better, but never knew about the ol' gum at the register one. (I am taking suggestions for next year when we are all old enough to handle serving our fellow beings).

Anyhow. Yesterday we were at the grocery store. Me. George. Jane. Harriet. All tired. All ornery. All causing a scene. So much so that one lady walked by and passive aggressively crusty eyed my kids (I wasn't right by them). It was pretty wild, I'm not lying. So I passive aggressively back said loudly enough that she could hear me to the kids that I didn't think the lady that just walked by liked  the way they were behaving.

And with that kind of Christmas spirit in my heart we went to check out. And I thought about sweet sister's testimony the day before. And I try to whisper to the kids to pick a candy bar out for the cashier and the bagger. They both picked M & M's. The biggest Christmas miracle of it all is that they actually caught on that it wasn't for them and it was for the Smith's employees without a single complaint, so I suppose I won't discount that.  Because the rest was mostly awkward. Both the cashier and the bagger just kinda blushed and acted like we were weird. Maybe it's against store policy for them to take things from customers. I don't know. But we had caused commotion throughout the whole store and at the checkout line so probably they didn't want something from the crazy customers. What's more, I was purchasing a pregnancy test and that's probably TMI, but I KNOW the nasty thoughts going through their mind as they were ringing it up and bagging it. (What on earth are you trying for more lady, get a handle on the ones you've got!!) But SB and I embraced the chaos a while ago.

Well, awkwardness followed us out to the car because by the time they bagged all the groceries of our first-time-in-weeks-to-do-real-shopping grocery store trip, it filled two carts and the bagger came with us to the filthy buick rendezvous. I told her thanks so much and that she could just leave the cart by the car and go back in while I played Tetris trying to get the three kids and 2 carts of food (and a prego test) in the car. I said to the kids (I don't know why I expected them to say it, but I just did) "can you tell her thanks for helping us?" Jaynie sweetly says "thank you" (or some form thereof since you never surely know what she's said) and George shouts at the top of his lungs "THANK YOU." and with her definitely still in earshot and at the same volume if not louder he bellows out: "AND YOU'RE WELCOME FOR YOUR M&M's!"

Awesome. 25 days of charity will do us well someday.

We did make some cookies later on that we mostly ate (since cookie exchange cookies are GONE. sick. we are sick sometimes) but also shared with a select few.

doesn't she make them look delicious? doesn't she look delicious? babies are so great. that's why crusty looks at Smith's can't stop me from wanting more!

 

I hope you're full of Holiday Cheer. It's unlikely we are going to get the job done of spreading it in true Christmas fashion this year.

12/3 - Year in Review... Just in Case.

Just in case I fail myself in the Christmas countdown (NOT saying I will. But I've failed before) but I really just want to get something -- anything-- down in history about our little story. So for day 3 of the countdown I will say other holidays are pretty great too. Here are some highlights of 2012 in the order I find and upload the pictures.:

Jane turned 3. Princess/Fancy Nancy Party. Too bad I only took pictures of the cupcakes and not the princess. (at least that I can find- my bad).

She was also fancy nancy for Halloween. Only a little fancier this time.

George wanted to be a vulture. Couldn't find a costume so SB made one. Handy to have an artist. 

Got a car that works. Merry Christmas and happy every holiday to all of us.

Kids love the snow. Minus the H-bear. She likes to be in her little chariot. But we're hoping for a white Christmas at this house. We love it.

Halloween lady bug. love love love her.

there we go. Thanks to slaphappysteph and hayshood@hotmail.com I've got the Fancy Nancy B-day bash. thanks friends who blog and photog better than I ever will.  And thanks gramma ox for being my best lady that I ever knew. 

the bug was not without his own b-day characters. Scooby came. Everyone was pretty leery of snugglin' up for a picture but knowing SB was inside I didn't mind as much.

fancy cousins/sisters

For the big v-day I made peanutbutter chocolately goodness for SB. And a mug. It was supposed to be year of the home-made. But I can't remember if that lasted past Valentine's. But we always have a family candlelight dinner and family dance-off in the basement. May get awkward as the kids age, but right now we like it.

As for other holidays, I'm tired and can't look up more pictures. But we have fun. Corned beef and cabbage for St. Paddy's with our Irish everything as we remember it from our missions place settings, set to Irish tunes that still play throughout the year on random i-tune/i-pod/i-phone/ i-amstevejobsandgotitrighteverything mixes. 

Fourth of July and Pioneer day. No float to build was kind of nice. Just your average festivities for the fourth. But loved it. Lots of MCAT for the 24th, not as fun. But Wicked with Matt's whole family the next day was quite nice:

(only proof that I really went. but this is actually at dinner before, not at Capitol Theatre)

oh ya. and LOTS of green this summer with camp.

all things turkey was a success at Thanksgiving. Jaynie talked everyone into lots more flowers and sparkles and feathers on this little activity except Matt. Just one flower was all she could talk him into. He's usually the pushover in the fam. But not when it comes to art apparently. Even if it's the preschool art project. 

What else, what else. There's Black Friday. But enough to be said about that to warrant it's own post. 

With the exception of just a few details, I guess that brings me back to Christmas this year. Merry Christmas. 

12/2 - Sunday, Sunday.

Day 2 of a blogger countdown goes like this.

Went to church with kids. They were at one point at least as reverent as they look in this picture. It is a battle I don't look forward to on Saturday the special day as I get ready for Sunday. I try hard some times. And Matt is better at it than me. But even Jim Faye's Love and Logic disappoints sometimes.

Then I got my craft on with MK. She looks like she is having the time of her life but mostly we were just laughing about Jane asking how she got her "owie" (sp?) ... it was a zit. Majerle says "I just grow mine." Best.

MK is pretty impressed with my ability to take some fold-over lace and tie a know at the end. I'm more excited about the presentation. That's really all I ever care about. It could be coal for Christmas. But if it's packaged right, I want it.

and speaking of crafty and loving pennant banners but never had one, Mars brought me this one that says "JOY" and told me it stands for Jesus, Others, and You. So may you have plenty of JOY this season.

Now I've got to go get my kids in bed because they dressed themselves up and went and played in the hail storm. The reason I hate blogger. Sucks me away from ever being a decent mom I swear it.

Reason I love blogger? Because Jane in her fancy nancy nighty and George in his watersock/rainboot combo to play in the muddy hailstorm (that they just dragged in and around my house, back to hating blogger) ought to be documented for their sake. 

Peace.

Christmas Countdown Cheer - 12/1.

I love advent calendars. Love them. Chocolate ones. Paper ones. Chain link ones. Wooden box with drawers ones. Any ones.  They're called advent calendars but I once experienced "real" advent in my month in Denmark aka Den one Christmas and it was much different but lovely. I suppose I just love all things Christmas.  And Christmas countdowns are right toward the top. But they probably don't overtake stockings.

Anyhow. I am going to attempt a blog Christmas countdown.  Partly because I feel like Christmas deserves it. And partly because it will help me come closer to my January One resolution to have a post a week or at least 52 posts this year. That's unlikely to happen. But 24 days till Christmas will put me at least halfway there.

And at the end of the countdown, with any luck at all, I can showcase another one of my lofty-unlikely-to-happen-but-still-a-goal-o-mine: the homemade stockings that NEED to get finished a.s.a.p. (did I mention that the stocking may be the best kept secret of Christmas? more on that later).

As for counting down till Christmas day one:

1. Meet Mr. Peeps. Kinda like Elf on the Shelf only Grandma Joyce started the tradition in our family after Peggy the nail lady invented the idea. And then it was stolen by the elf on the shelf company. Or so Nana says. And for once I believe her. Because Peeps was around WAY before Shelfy Elf. Anyhow, he's keeping the kids in line for us. (sort of). And the novelty of having a 3 and 4 year old loving every minute of hasn't worn off yet.

2. Happy ICS cookie exchange.  Yum. Yum. Yum. Plus really cool people that left me smiling and inspired to do creative things. I had a wonderful time. Like I'd call it near perfect. It was that great. Thanks Caitlin and Company. Sorry for being the last to leave I had to take it all in. In 100% seriousness her house was straight out of a fashionista magazine, the food prettier than pinterest, and the company hilarious and hipsterish which, well, makes my heart rejoice.

3. And rock a bye baby has a countdown of her very own: the big first birthday is just days away. She is a red headed delight, truly. Her toothy grin makes my every day including this day, the first of countdown 2012.  Happy Holidays.

i voted.

"who's that person with her 'vote sticker' on her eye?" asked George.

I was caught. I have tried not to get sucked into everybody's political rants and raves. I deactivated my facebook account because I was done with "both sides" (I hate the sides, I really really do) being inconsiderate and super dislike even more the assuming things people say. But having said that, I am a pretty opinionated and passionate person, so I couldn't help sneaking back to cjanekendrick.com after my friend had pointed out something to me. If you look and wonder what kept drawing me back, it's not the post itself that I was interested in so much as the comments.  And you certainly don't have to go to her political post to find them, they're on every political post everywhere: divisive, insensitive, assuming comments. I feel like not commenting at all is the most noble thing someone can do. Because applauding just because someone voted the same as you is annoying and bickering about someone's vote that is already spent and an election that is already decided is pretty pointless. Which is why I hate that I am up at 3 in the morning stewing about it and commenting myself. 

My convictions on certain issues run pretty deep, but I am not mad if you disagree. (I don't really care to know about it either). And I quite honestly don't need anyone to say I am right. (That's SB's job... and he would probably tell you I already know I am right).  In the first grade I participated in the reflections contest (even went to district) with a drawing for the theme "A past to remember, a future to mold" where I drew Abraham Lincoln (favorite president forever and always) and myself as the future president of the United States.  I really thought I would be the first woman president at age 7. By age 11 I wanted to be the first woman in the NBA. At age 33, I am just happy to be a woman. As for those other earlier aspirations, I'm content to cheer from the sidelines and put my vote in the ballot box, and then go back home with my kids and our "vote stickers." 

As far as my opinions on it all, I will only say this:

My mom used to say I was the runaway bride.  True, I had only been engaged once prior to SB, but I had made wedding plans on a handful of other occasions with a handful of other potential grooms.  It  is kind of embarrassing, really. But given my track record, I guess I shouldn't have been so surprised at my mom's response when, the night after SB and I got engaged, I told her "Last night Matt proposed out of the blue." 

"What did you say?" she asked very matter-of-fact. (she is always matter of fact. I wish I was more like her sometimes).

"Yes."  and then came what I thought would be the real kicker.  "Matt asked if I wanted to get married at the end of this month."

"DO IT!" was my mom's emphatic response. She didn't trust that I'd carry through with it otherwise I suppose.  

Runaway bride though I may have been, there is an arguable difference between me and the character portrayed by Julia Roberts: I know what kind of eggs I like. 

(Do you remember the scene where she finally decides to figure out for herself what kind of egg she likes and makes all the different kinds?  I love it. Best message of the movie if you ask me).

So when it comes to politics, I will listen as you tell me why scrambled eggs are nice or why poached eggs are healthier for me. But I like my eggs fried over medium with a little salt and pepper. And I doubt that will ever change. 

Nonetheless, I'm happy there are so many good eggs in this world.

With that off my chest, I will get to concentrating on the other things that tend to keep me awake at night:

3:30 a.m. visit this morning

5 a.m. visit this morning

find this just about every morning. 

a real tribute.

I love my job.  Despite the ups and downs and incredible pain I've felt and soul searching I do on a regular basis as a result, I love the people I work with.  Yes, the staff.  But as much and more the patients and their families. I've been asked so many times about how can I do what I do, and while some may ask me with some sense of admiration-- I do think some people see me as less compassionate/ sympathetic than the bulk of humanity to tolerate seeing some of the things I've seen.  Perhaps it's true, but the soul searching bit mentioned above isn't just a figure of speech.  It's not like I go unaffected.  And there is too much to be said of the millions of thoughts and the scarce conclusions I've reached in the last 6 years to go into during this quick blog post.

Nevertheless, Chris Rumble at Seattle Children's Hospital captured something for me that is absolutely inspiring.  It was so familiar, every clip and piece of the music video made sense to me and when I watch it I feel the excitement you feel when you see places you've been that have some deeper meaning to you.  Something like when I see pictures of London and Sweden, or Logan and Cache Valley.  I watched this video for the first time with SB and I kept saying:  "this is what I do.  this is it. I've so been there."  Last night, even: I was there.  My body is still trying to recuperate because from 7 last night till 7 this morning, I was  there.  And while I know it seems jaded to some, for some reason my heart is full for having been there.  

  The nurse chasing the kid on the bike-thingy with the IV pole trying to keep up.  That's it. The kids are so resilient, the families are so strong, and the nurses just get to be there.  If there are chosen souls, I am convinced I've met a large population of them.  And knowing chosen souls is a very motivating, inspiring, sacred experience. And if not how, that's why I do it.

Enjoy.