12/14. 12/15. 12/16.

On Friday morning I went to the zoo with my kids, my friends, and my friend's kids. It seemed as though we had the whole place to ourselves. Harriet looked at the animals wide eyed and I just marvel as her little personality unfolds and she becomes more and more her own little person.  George was just begging the whole time to go to the snake house which also has a whole bunch of birds, his other new found favorite kind of creature.  Between the reptiles and birds I think he could spend all day in there.  I couldn't. The humid penetration of animal dung permeates the place and makes me a bit sick.  But it's fun to see them get excited over things.  Jaynie is usually just happy to be and was busy pointing out all the stinky smells.  She got excited about most of the animals and was very intently watching the gorilla when it honestly CHARGED FULL SPEED AHEAD to the plexi-glass of the 'enclosure' (they're cages. but call them as you'd like). Jane didn't even flinch I swear it. The rest of us screamed and decided to leave that area of the zoo.  As we were walking out he did it again, slamming even harder this time.

My friend and I said in agreement that we needed to really get out of there, that he was going to break out of  there any minute. Laughing, but legitimately scared I said Hogle Zoo is going to make national news about the ape that went crazy and got out and we are going to witness it.

As we left the zoo a little later, I had a text message from a friend prompting me to the real national news of the day and in my sincerest sentiment, I wish that it was just about anything else than what it was.

I've been glued to the news reports and updates for the last three days.  I know everyone handles situations like this differently-- I am always one who seems to get sucked in and as much as I wish I could leave it alone because it is seemingly doing very little to read 764 sources of the same story, I can say that for me it's a feeling of helplessness to do anything about it for anyone.  Except care. And I care more, the more I read-- the more I find out about these precious sweet souls: their names, their faces, their wishes from Santa, their talents, their families, their little lives and big hearts.

As a missionary I was asked by the mission president to memorize a quote or scripture that helped me better share the purpose of life and the gospel. I chose to memorize an excerpt from then Bishop Richard C. Edgley who said in a conference talk:

"I believe we all understood that by coming to earth, we would be exposed to all of the experiences of earth life, including the not-so-pleasant trials of pain, suffering, hopelessness, sin, and death. There would be opposition and adversity. And if that was all we knew about the plan, I doubt if any of us would have embraced it, rejoicing, “That’s what I have always wanted—pain, suffering, hopelessness, sin, and death.” But it all came into focus, and it became acceptable, even desirable, when an Elder Brother stepped forward and offered that He would go down and make it all right. Out of pain and suffering He would bring peace. Out of hopelessness He would bring hope. Out of transgression He would bring repentance and forgiveness. Out of death He would bring the resurrection of lives. And with that explanation and most generous offer, each and every one of us concluded, 'I can do that. That is a risk worth taking.' And so we chose."

May the promise of Christ and the eternal family be real and felt in the hearts of all of us. Let His promise of peace, hope, forgiveness, and life be to all who it's intended for, and certainly those victims and those mourning after the events at Sandy Hook Elementary School.